Hot for Teacher?
by chocolagasm
Summary: Shoutaro is a stupid, stinky block of hole-y cheese. I, Kyoko Mogami, do not have an authoritarianism fetish. I do not. Tsuraga-san is more than a figure of authority, he... he is my ... he... Okay..MAYBE i have a slight interest in authoritarianism... AAAAAAND I THINK ITS AN AU CANON MIX, BUT MOSTLY AU:D
1. Chapter 1

Heyyoo~ {**DISCLAIMER** I DO NOT OWN SKIP BEAT! AND ANY REFERENCES THAT SEEM TOO MUCH OF A COINCIDENCE IS PURELY COINCIDENTIAL! XD}

I'm still playing with some ideas here and it's kinda very short so please bear with it.. if you have any request/complain feel free to tell me though Will update soon!^^

* * *

**That..stupid...jerk!**

**HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?! **

**EVEN THAT IDIOT BEAGLE HAS MORE COMMON SENSE THAN YOU DO!**

**I WANT TO HURT YOU SO BAD YOU'LL ROLL OFF THE FACE OF EARTH, AND WIPE THE MINDS OF ALL YOUR LOVE-SICK, OBSESSED FANS, AND I WILL STALK YOU UNTIL YOU ARE BORN AGAIN AND CURSE YOU! **

**My life belongs to ME and YOU have NOTHING to do with it.**

**YOU ARROGANT, HOLE-Y BLOCK OF CHEESE! YOU ARE SO FILLED WITH AIR THAT THE ONLY REASON YOU DON'T FLOAT AWAY SOMEWHERE AND BURST IS THAT BIG, HEAVY HEAD OF YOURS!**

**Ju-Just because I was alone when i was younger- and HOW DARE YOU RUB IT IN MY FACE NOW, YOU STINKY PIECE OF CHEESE-it doesn't mean I'm "desperately in need of an 'father figure' or 'brother figure' to fill my empty void! AND ...Tsuraga- san is more than a father to me...he's...  
**

**ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH DAMN YOU SHOUTARO! **

**I DO NOT HAVE AN AUTHORITARIANISM FETISH!**


	2. Chapter 2

Hii. Disclaimer: I do not own anything XD

Sorry for that super short post and hope this update will help. If it does not make much sense, my apologies, I've never been a very logical person:D

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Apparently I had overdid it. So much that even the **President** is unable to take it.

Yesterday he came to me, dressed as normally as he could be, in a _suit_ of all things.

_As far as a electric pink suit and tie can be, considering that he had just gone through the feathered boa and boa constrictor stage._

By the traffic junction I was at, he took a fluorescent whiteboard out and began tapping at it with a purple foam finger. Pointing at a huge, powdery heart in the middle of the whiteboard, he grinned and told me I had a much greater capacity for love than he had ever expected for me. _Bullshit_. Then he brandished a laminated card, with my _face_ and an alias under the name section. He said that he had discussed several things with Tsuraga-san and that it was absolutely necessary that I, as his so called lucky charm, should risk everything for Tsuraga-san. After which he threw a banana at me,claiming that it was good for my deprived brain and marched away with much fanfare.

* * *

Oh well. What had I expected? It was the President after all.

But being a TA is no joke. Why was Tsuruga-san the **teacher** anyway? It's not like I'm not capable enough. And why a **girls** school, of all things? A rich girls junior high at that. Its not like Mr Teacher can see me over the crowds of pre-pubescent girls swooning at his feet.

Anyway, I was supposed to aid Ren-_ yepp, i had to call the person i respected the most so uncouthly- _and prepare him for his month long lecture for aspiring artists next **year**. Not only did Ren - I was to call him that at all times- have to wear a stuffy suit and tie at all times, _with those broad shoulders and mouthwatering body..gahhh_, I had to don a wraparound dress with heels and thick, heavy glasses too. _Oh, the things that i do for the company._

That was three days ago. Fast forward three tortuous days later, I was sitting in a stuffy room reviewing an essay on ''My Favourite Teacher" that revolved around the charismatic teacher who has just joined the school a few days ago, who had ' charmed the pants off her' when he taught. I was just rooted there, the stupid glasses I wasn't to remove sitting low on the bridge of my nose, when Ren stumbled in, his glasses askew, tie loose around his neck, his hair scruffy from his fingers and a bottle between his fingers. He grinned devilishly over me and said, "Why don't you let me teach you some things?''

_Oh, my._


	3. Chapter 3

Hii. Disclaimer: I do not own anything XD

Hoho im kinda busy lately so i probably wouldn't be able to write much DX BUT if you have any remarks or suggestions, feel free to tell them to me:D

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I guess he wasn't as good a teacher as I had expected him to be.

Yeah, he was a proficient actor with awesome acting skills, but he was a more expressive person than one who was supposed to passively_ teach ._

_I guess you could say he was pretty aggressive when his emotions are invested in it. _

Still, it seemed as though everything he did had some kind of ulterior motive, like a dark shadow that hides behind those thick glasses. Maybe he had held himself with so much rigor he just couldn't learn to let go. Maybe he liked his emotions in check, like a banana that hides amongst cucumbers.

_Or maybe... he just didnt like me enough._

He was like an alien from another galaxy, the savior of angsty high school girls. He was like Kuon was me to the girls.

So i guess that it was reasonable he would be so despicable to cover up his actions.

* * *

So anyway,, it turned out that Ren was a despicable idiot who would go all lengths to protect his Mr Nice Teacher reputation.

_He doesnt even deserve to be addressed honourably. That toot. _

I cant't say that Ren was a horrible guy, he was spectacular, skilled, even.

He was simply the bane of casanovas worldwide. His body was lean and strong, his breath coming in little pants, his skin cold to the touch, a comforting sensation against the stuffy heat of the room.

_ Of course i was stupid enough then not to realize he was sick. _

He held me up against the door, crowding me in against the hard wood. His eyes were glassy, unfocused and his body had begun to tremble a little. He stared at me for a long moment, then smiled, before rubbing a callused thumb against my cheek. Breathily, he rasped, lips against my ears. He told me that I was like an angel descended from the heavens, and i was his only salvation.

I was mesmerized by the charm, the utter sensation of being so appreciated.

Mere seconds after he finished his sentence, he fell to the ground, and rolled under the desk where the forgotten bottle now lay. Screams could be heard behind the wooden door- Ren had locked it, after all- and a furious rhythm was being pounded as I stared at the fallen teacher.

I was stuck in a dilemma. It was so late already, and it would be tortuous having to lug someone as large as Mr Teacher back home.

_I could just leave him beneath the desk where my smelly loafers were- It was a just retribution he deserved for bringing down the fury of teenagers to the ''staff room''._

Then again there was the gaggle of besotted girls outside, beating down the door. If I just left like that, leaving a unconscious Mr Teacher at the mercy of horny girls, his cover would be blown sooner than later and my job- and his sorry ass- would be in deep trouble. I had two options, to leave him in here, unlock the door, escape through the window- one that was, thankfully out of view from the door and the desks in another room, and had a staircase that would save myself from the utter embarrassment or I could lug that unconscious but mouthwatering ass out through the window into safety, which would perhaps cost my life and the staffroom door.

I was debating furiously, eye swivels alternating between him and the door. Mr Teacher looked so peaceful, his words resonating in my head. Walking towards him, preparing to prop him up against something, i heard a loud rip coming from nowhere.

Someone had farted. And it was not me.

* * *

In my defense, I had no choice but to escape. The wooden door that was once so sturdy and offered much protection had become battered and offered no protection at all. Surely the girls did not have that much strength in them. PLUS, the stink was simply too much. It was simply the king of all farts, the pride of their kingdom. Never had i expected someone as refined as Mr Teacher to have such a horrible digestive system. That must have been why he so often refused to eat his meals. Surely THAT would repel the girls away.

Back to what happened, moments after the big toot, my lungs had began to stop working and I ran screaming out of the room. The heavenly aroma had wafted through the entire room and, being an enclosed space that was no barbecue heaven. The pounding had gradually stopped and i believed they had been scared off by my decidedly un-heavenly screams. Then i had proceeded to fly out of the window and back to the hotel room nearby where we resided.

It wasn't until around midnight that I realized Mr Teacher wasn't coming back.

And it just dawned upon me that he hadn't because he couldn't.

So, in nothing but a t-shirt and my very sexy underpants i ran out of the hotel back to the school. I was his aide after all, wasn't I?


End file.
